18 Steps to Improve Brass Band Performance

• Everyone should play the same piece.
• During a concert, stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat or not. The audience will love this a lot!
• If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to your partner.
• Always keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others.
• Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
• Take your time turning pages.
• The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).
• If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
• Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.
• Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score and make it look nice.
• If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed up. Everything will work itself out in the end.
• If you are completely lost, stop everyone else and say, "I think we should tune".
• Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.
• If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
• A true interpretation is realised when there remains not one note of the original.
• A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.
• When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes left over.
• Never, ever, look at the conductor. He might mistake it for interest and try to put some real music in the piece.